I asked my mate "Where's your mum from?" He replied "Alaska." I said, "Don't worry, i'll ask her myself."
haha he said " IM 'SHURE' OF IT" at the end whch is 'SH'' ME LIKE IT ALOT>>>>>>>>.""""!!!!!!$()()
"what d'ya call a dear with no eyes?"..............................."No idea."
A guy sticks his head round the door of the barbershop and asks, âHow long before I can get a haircut? The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, âAbout 2 hoursâ, âOKâ said the guy and left.
A few days later, the same guy stuck his head round the door and again asked, âHow long before I can get a haircut?â The barber looked around at the shop and said, âAbout 2-3 hours.â As before, the guy left.
A week later, the same guy returns and stucks his head into the shop and asked, âHow long before I can get a haircut?â The barber looked around the shop and said, âAbout an hour and a half today Sir.â True to form the guy walked away.
However this time the barber turned to his friend and said, âHey, Bill, do me a favour. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesnât ever come back.â
A little while later, Bill returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, âSo whatâs so funny and where does that guy go when he leaves?â
Bill looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, âYour house!â
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on a plane. The lawyer kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence.
Eventually the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds. He said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, heâd give her $50.00.
The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde accepted as she was fed up with his pestering.
The lawyer asked the first question: âWhat is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?â
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. Then the blonde asked her first question: âWhat goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?â
The lawyer was puzzled. He spent several hours looking up everything he could on his laptop and placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, âWhat is the answer to your question?â
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
A ventriloquist is touring and one night heâs doing a show in a club in a small town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual act including his repertoire of dumb blonde jokes.
Suddenly a blonde woman in the middle of the crowd stands up and starts shouting at the stage.
âIâve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?â
âWhat does the colour of a personâs hair have to do with her worth as a human being?â
âItâs men like you that keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and men like you continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humour!â
The embarrassed ventriloquist starts to stutter an apology when the blonde yells, âYou stay out of this, mister! Iâm talking to that little shit on your knee.â
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